Affirmation

Several years ago, I had a pony-tail. Having lived in California, I could wear it in the summer, but once I returned to the Midwest, I knew it wouldn't be tolerable in the summer humidity. Fortunately, the pony-tail provided an opportunity to counteract a six-year-old's sexism.

I did a little computer consultation for a family friend and her step-daughter. Both their computers had accumulated too much crap-ware, and were bogged down as a result. It was just a standard, take-a-look and uninstall-lotsa-packages sort of deal.

Afterwards, while I was explaining the situation and my remedy, my friend's step-daughter's son came up to me and asked, "Why is your hair so long? Only girls wear long hair."

I replied, "Because I'm smart."

He said, "Huh?"

I said, "I make computers work, and sometimes when they break, I fix them. I have to be smart to do that. That's why I have long hair."

He could only give me a quizzical look at this seeming non-sequitur. I pointed to his sister and continued:

"See her long hair? She's smart, too."

Instantly, she went from playing with some cars on the floor, to "He said I'm smart!" It was an incredible affirmation for a girl who was just barely learning to read.

I found out later that she was adopted, and her birth parents were, shall we say, less than ideal. The self-esteem and emotional issues were a work-in-progress at the time. My comment was one of the few times in my life that I got the timing just right.

Posted on Dec 31, 2007 at 3:21:00 AM EST.