Odd Instructions

To commemorate the 50th anniversary of my workplace, all employees received an unusual gift: a beer mug. The mug itself isn't that unusual, except that its made of hard, non-ferrous, silvery-tone metal. What makes this gift unusual is the instructions that came with it. Yes, instructions.

One of my co-workers called the instructions How to Make Your Commemorative Mug Beer-Friendly. It contains bits of beer wisdom such as:

• "Use your mug ONLY for beer or ale."
• "Just fill your mug with ice and count 20 seconds. Now dump the ice and fill the mug. Not only has it suddenly become 'ice cold,' it will stay cold and so will your beer or ale." ("Suddenly"? Not too sudden, I hope. If it startles me, and I drop it on my toe and break it before I get drunk, where's the fun in that?)
• "The beer or ale will taste better and better every time around. It will retain it's (sic) head longer and flow better."

Two of my co-workers are just out of high school, getting ready to ship off to college, and they aren't even old enough to drink. I guess they'll have a couple years to make sure their mugs are very, very friendly, right?

Posted on Aug 13, 2006 at 1:44:13 AM EDT.